Tag Archives: Neverneverland

Ever Changing

I wrote the following rhetoric years back. And although I am no longer in this particular situation I still feel I made some valid observations. I am prone to eloquent exaggeration, but mainly I speak the truth as I see it. I hope you enjoy it.

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How blissful a child’s ignorance of the world in which adults live is. It is something I’ve come to truly envy.

As my mother would proudly explain, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would beam and say that “I was never going to grow up because I was going to Neverneverland to live with Peter Pan.” How easy life seemed back then?

At one point in every person’s life there comes a time when we must all take what is referred to as “a leap of faith.” Whether that “leap” is metaphoric or literal, that moment always reaches us whether early on in our youth or in adulthood. My “leap” has come to me at the age of twenty-five. I look to the future –more importantly –my future and feel that there is cause for great trepidation because it isn’t spelled out to me in a clear path. I never truly knew I possessed this quality until I heard my sister describing and explaining me to one of her friends, but I was hit with the realization that this description had me spot on! I don’t like being out of control. I don’t like not knowing how something is going to turn out or not having a plan or a back-up plan.

Thus, the cause for my trepidation. There are always two choices in life: to do or to not do. How does one decide? I have reached a fork in my road. To continue on path the current path would lead to much the same environment I am currently in, only to accentuate the current situation with further knowledge of my bosses’ utter lack of respect toward me and to continue to allow them to insult me daily. As tempting as the situation surely seems I can assure you it is far worse. The other tine on the fork leads down a much more exciting path. One that removes me from my hometown and immerses me into an unfamiliar town, jobless and a mountain of debt the last fork had caused me to accrue.

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On a side note, I no longer feel such heavy anxiety that I don’t have everything planned out. I met someone who had such a nonchalant way of looking at the world and I’ve since adopted a few of his philosophies. He has become a hero of sorts. I’ve discovered how to enjoy my life without the feeling as if I must have all the answers before I even start. I’ve often since said “Life is in the mess.” And I truly believe it. I have had some of the best times in my life since by simply being in the now and enjoying the adventure that it brings.