Bridges to Cross

So, there are the literal bridges that people ford across to get from one coastal plain to another. And then their are the figurative ones.

As a child, I was obsessed with crossing over bridges. I have been raised on the tales of “wailing my head off in the backseat” because I wanted to go over the bridge not under. My indulging mother would plan her car trips around attempting to accommodate the screaming toddler in the backseat to avoid such outbursts. Not an easy task I am sure, but that’s what she did. What can I say, but that a mother’s love for her child is strong….and my mother probably wanted to save her ears from an unwanted assault.

As I grew, my love for bridges changed: as did I. They were no longer just a way to travel, but a way to leave something behind. With each move, each bridge seemed like a way to leave some undesired episode or person. Not saying that there were many of these circumstances that I wanted to forget, but we were thankfully instructed by this wonderful, loving mother to look to each move as a new adventure. Use it, if you will, as a way to reinvent ourselves from something we didn’t want to be to something or someone we did want to be. It was this great concept that has probably lead to more moves in my life than have been strictly necessary, but I am getting ahead of myself. That will be a topic for another night.

I now look at bridges as structural elements- some breathtakingly beautiful and artistic and others lacking in imagination, but all serving a function.

I, unfortunately, cannot take credit for these pictures as they are in parts of the world I have yet to visit. This beautiful bridge pictured above is the Helix at Raffles Avenue and Bayfront Bridge in Singapore (follow the links for more information).

Arganzuela Footbridge in Madrid, Spain

These stunning structures are works of art carefully created by architects and structural engineers giving mankind not only functional pieces, but attractive designed elements. I could spend a good amount of time on architectural structures as it is a passion of mine, but this post really isn’t about the literal kind of bridge.

In the beginning, I alluded to figurative bridges. It is this type of bridge that is really what started this post. We all reach a time- bridge- that requires a decision to be made. It is these decisions that mold us into the people we are. Maybe life can and should be looked at like a bridge. We are born standing on one coast and it’s each decision however small or great that allow us to advance toward the other side. What awaits us on the other side is death. Now wait, before you get to thinking “how morbid!” Death is a fact we must all eventually face. But it’s our decisions that determine the length, elegance, slope, and artistic style of our bridge- or life. Or you could look at life like a series of bridges. Major milestones would be represented by a new bridge. Marriage, parenthood, new careers, drastic re-locations- of course there are also bridges of morality. We each just have to choose which we are willing to cross. The older we become the more these bridges mean- some more to others than to ourselves other lesser to others than ourselves.

What really has me pondering is how these blasted bridges- crossed or uncrossed- change forevermore relationships we’ve painstakingly nurtured and developed. A journey ends (death), a bridge (marriage, parenthood, move, etc.) is crossed and these bridges or ties to others that made us feel stronger or feel more whole start to collapse. Once crossed it’s as if the bridge can never be uncrossed. It was only strong enough to allow one trip across. We are only able to look back either with longing or relief.

While I was in my last years of high school or early years of college my mother, the wise sage that she is, gave me a card. It changed how I look at each event in my life. I don’t remember the exact words, but the message was something to the extent of “Life is like a car with only one gear: Forward.”